Seijana/End of Time
“Is it tomorrow? Or just the end of time?”
“Very hard to run through time isnt it!”
“This is not the end, this is not even the beginning of the end, but it is perhaps...well I'll be damned - it is the end!”
Have you ever noticed that at the end of every femtosecond, another one begins? See for yourself. Wait until the next femtosecond ends to see if another begins. If it didn't, you have just experienced the end of time.
From: MR KURISU Dear Sir, I am Mr Kurisu, Director of the Nigeria Ministry of Mining & Natural Resources, writing this during the End of Time. I am making this contact with you based on the committee's need for an individual/company who is willing to assist us with a solution to a money transfer. First and foremost, I apologize using this medium to reach you for a transaction/business of this magnitude, but this is due to the inability to send messages with other mediums through time. In unfolding this proposal, I want to count on you, as a respected and honest person, to handle this transaction with sincerity, trust and confidentiality. I have decided to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of the deal described hereunder for the benefit of all parties and hope you will keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction. As Director of Project Implemention and with the cooperation of four other top officials, we have in our possession as overdue payment bills totaling thirty-three million, five-hundred thousand United States dollars (US$33,500,000.00) which we want to transfer to your year 2000 with the assistance and cooperation of a past company/individual account to receive the said fund on our behalf. More so, we are handicapped in the circumstances, as the South Africa Civil Service Act of End of Time does not allow us to operate past accounts, hence your importance in the whole transaction. This amount $33.5m represents the balance of the total contract value executed on behalf of my department by a past contracting firm. Though the actual contract cost has been paid to the original contractor, leaving the balance in the tune of the said amount which we have the approval to remit by Key Temporographic Transfer(K.T.T) to any past bank account you will provide by filing in an application through the Ministry of Justice here in Nigeria for the transfer of rights and privileges of the former contractor to you. I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that, should you be willing to assist us in the transaction, your share of the sum will have been 10% of the $33.5 million. The business itself is 100% safe, provided you treat it with utmost secrecy and confidentiality. I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not disappoint me. Endeavor to contact me immediately through my e-mail to confirm whether or not you are interested in this deal. I want to assure you that my partners and myself are in a position to make the payment of this claim possible provided you can give us a very strong Assurance and guarantee that our share will be secured, and please, remember to treat this matter very confidentially, as we will not be satisfied with any form of exposure as we are still in active Government Service. Once again, remember that time is of great essence in this transaction. I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation. Yours faithfully, Mr. Kurisu
With Bush's aid, Kurisu safely reached the year 2000. After giving Bush his cut, he then went on to give away secrets of the End of Time, which are now considered well known.
Previous Ends of Time[সম্পাদনা]
Dr. Timothy Leary has recently published a theory in collaboration with Carl Sagan indicating that the end of time occurred at the moment of the creation of the Unix Timestamp, twice during the entire year in which nothing happened but Jesus' birth, once before when the Daleks invaded London (after which the whole of time was sent back 3600 years), during the Great Flood and even as early as the Big Bang, which occurred after Jesus tried to eat burrito so big he could not.